Hello all and THX for reading these thoughts. I hope somehow they resonate with you. How do 2 adults talk about sex without first talking about contraception? My answer...i have no idea! I kinda thought that is part of being a responsible adult, right? Wrong. My mother is the oldest of 10 children from a big Catholic family and i am the youngest(and the most handsome and intelligent, humble also ?) so i have a really big family. My sister started having chidren at age 21, then another after. My oldest brother has 3 adult kids, all now over 18 so I understand what limitations a family can place on a new relationship. You can guess by my answer that these families were started young so i waited until i was almost 27 to even think about marriage and almost 29 until my son was born. One thinks that waiting is best so you make wise and sound decisions. Well here i am, now divorced for some time now. For me being a Dad just felt good. I never really knew my real father so i knew what not to do. Even when the marriage ended i fought vigorously to stay in my son Evan's life. I had surgery to have a child and knew it was a short term fix. It stems from an inury that happened when i was just starting to study Korean Martial arts. I won't offer alot of detail except to say that my son is a real miracle and a blessing. When i was first married we used birth control to prepare for having a family. At first i used a condom then after marriage she switched to the birth control pill. It worked for her and didn't affect her body but i understand that it does affect some ladies. To be honest it's a scary feeling at first to rely on a little pill or injection to prevent pregnancy. For me, it was all trust and how to rely on science. After all, it had helped me surgically to prepare for helping make a child (again honestly the best part). We both had blood work and she was actually very responsive to my questions about her health as our courtship moved along. I can't count how many times i heard from a woman that she was offended when i asked about her blood health. Yes....blood health, meaning blood type, blood count and if she had ever been tested for a STD(sexually transmitted disease). Some were so offended that we never spoke again. Again just my opinion but i would rather ask and offend someone than later catch something from her and then be REALLY offended. I have so far (knock on wood) stayed unscathed by STD's. Uggg...can you imagine the embarrassment of having to tell someone that you had something wrong with your health? I can't but know someone that caught something that he thought bleach would not remove ;). He had the embarrassment of having to tell his partner that he had caught something unsavory. If you are a man here then you have been sent messages of a sexual nature. I get them every day, so thank you ladies for inflating my unchecked ego!!! Of all the ladies only one has ever mentioned some form of contraception. It was a rather presumptuous message to outright ask about what form of birth control we would use considering we had not personally met but i still respect that she had the nerve to ask...after all we are all adults here. Needless to say this lady is someone that disappeared mysteriously when she found out i would be in the Ukraine for an entire month in late January. I think i called her bluff when she said she had to look at her schedule when i said " no worries, i have an entire month there." Her schedule got really full really quick and i realize it was just another person here to make money and not have a serious relationship. Check...mate! So, men, don't lay it all on the woman to choose. It's a really bad thing to leave a child in a foreign country. Many of us had to struggle to start a family, and while my divorce meant failure i can still have a positive outlook and be responsible and considerate. Ladies, or in my case, lady that disappeared, yes i have my Red Cross blood card and yes i can donate, and here in the USA if you donate they will test the blood for you for free. It's a good trade-off for a blood test to ensure we have a long, healthy life. Merry Christmas to all....and to someone special out there, i hope to see you soon!