Re: so different, so similar
You are so correct about the differences but I want to add what little I know about the "fight" situations. I call them 'sitcoms' as in the 'situation comedy' shows on TV. Of course, they are really not funny in the hahaha sense, but they are funny in the strange sense. I wish I could say I've never had a terrible disagreement with a girlfriend, but I wasn't born knowing how to treat a lady, much less a wife. To me the word 'wife' is very magical. When I stop to look at a beautiful orchid or a sunset over the Black Sea, I am amazed that my Lady is even more beautiful to me than any of them. They all take my deepest interest, but especially my Lady. She is my treasure and I could never argue with her to the point of losing her. To me, Nothing in this world is as important as she is. I never want the bitterness of a silly argument to come between us. Bad things could be said and those words may be forgiven, but not forgotten, believe me! As far as I am concerned, nothing much matters to me about what we do, where we go, or what new restaurant to try. Can anything so mundane really be worth your Love or your Loved One? I think not, for me anyway. I'm 72 years old now and looking forward to getting to the 120 years that the Bible says we might achieve, so I'm only a little over the half-way mark, but still going strong, as long as I get my coffee in the mornings! And one of the most important things I've learned in life is that a man can only be happy when his wife is happy! Get that? A man can only be happy when his Wife is happy! And a Happy Wife is heaven to live with, believe me! When she is happy, the kids are happy and certainly I am happy, happier than I've ever been. When I can do some thing for her, I do it. It may be simple, it may be expensive or cheap, but whatever it is...if she wants it she gets it. Now then, she has learned that if she gets it, we may not eat well next week. But she has learned when and when not to ask for something. And I have learned to watch her expressions when she looks at some bauble in the stores, and know whether she really wants that thing or not. Sooner or later, she'll find it in one of her clothing drawers, and I'll know it when I hear her squeal with delight. Then I get hugged and kissed more often than not. And I don't know any man who doesn't like hugs and kisses. They are so much better than frowns, and you don't have to sneak into bed at night). You'll be invited early, more than likely. And the moral is that you made her happy,.... not by the gift of the object, but by the greater gift that you noticed and discerned her tiny desire to have that thing and you got it for her without her having to ask for it. That you noticed and cared so much for her to have it counts for more than helping with the dishes, which you should be helping with anyway. And that's another thing. Everything in that home is half yours, and therefore your responsibility too, as is the care of those things. You ate a good supper, didn't you? Help with or just do the dishes. Give your lady a break from mundane housework; she deserves it more than you realize. And if she works at a job of any kind and brings money into the household for the use of combined bills or common utilities, she deserves some of her money for herself. Yet, you should still notice little things she might want and see that she gets them without spending her money on them. Men, You are the Providers and it has been that way since we lived in caves, so Provide for your own happiness by Providing for hers FIRST. You may not believe me, but you'd be a fool not to try it. Women I know have said that everyone deserves love. I can't say that I believe that fully! A man that works at his relationship with his woman deserves her love. I will agree to that with all my heart and soul. It's how I live and a man who won't live what he preaches isn't much use to me. That sounds hard and there may be reasons for his uselessness that I don't know of. It could be some infirmity but still, you should do what you can for your loved ones, even if it's just writing a love letter at times, and praising her for all she does for you and the family. It's more than a man realizes, and how do I know? I secretly listed all my Lady does everyday until I saw the patterns in her days and realized what a little genius I had on my hands. After that, Nothing was too good for her! And what do they ask? Just to be loved and respected, so deserved, and so worthy of it. You can't believe the changes it will make in your life and relationship, all for good. Women are the most beautiful creatures on this Earth, in more ways than you can count. Show them your Love and Respect, and mean it. They deserve it and it's really all they ask. Don't let that be too hard for you. Love's blessings to everyone of you! Ray!